When we emotionally get rejected we often feel hurt or brokenhearted, Because this feeling occurs directly after the rejection we naturally come to the conclusion that our hurt was created by their rejection. We search for way to heal broken heart. It seems almost obvious so obvious why would we even question it.
I would like to challenge it anyway. This will really help to heal a broken heart . What I see is that there is something that occurs in between the rejection in the feeling of hurt and that is thoughts, thoughts about the rejection which actually creates our hurt. So when we get rejected let’s say somebody breaks up with us, when that happens we begin to think two things. We might not be aware of what we’re thinking that this occurs and that is when they break up with us we first guess why did they break up with us? Then we decide unconsciously that they must be right. In other words we make an assumption about what they think and then we conclude that they’re assumption must be truth.
For example we think they must have broken up with me because I am not good enough. That is the first thing and then the second part of it is if they think i’m not good enough i must not be good enough. They broke up with me because they think there’s something wrong with me and then the second part is if they think there’s something wrong with me there must be something wrong. (Find out quick solutions in other posts to get quick ways to heal a broken heart).
Let me put it in this angle, they broke up with me because they think i’m not worthy of love and then the second thing we do is if they think i’m not worthy of love.
Once we have this negative thought about ourselves once we believe that their negative opinion is true then we feel hurt. Once we start having negative thoughts about ourselves we essentially worsening our opinion of ourselves. You know if we not feeling good about ourselves somebody loves me or what somebody are feeling about us we doubt ourselves.
When they reject us we have worst thoughts about ourselves and that worsening of our thoughts about ourselves creates the feeling of hurt or the feeling of a broken heart. It leads us to hating ourselves and finding ways to heal a broken heart.
What do you do about it, well if you want to stop feeling hurt you just have to recognize that somebody else’s negative opinion about you isn’t true . Then it just because somebody else think something about doesn’t mean it’s correct. It’s sort of seems obvious but generally as we go through life we often forget that or miss that, right, when somebody rejects us we think there must be something wrong with me. Some of these questions on how to heal a broken heart have solutions in previous posts on the site. However here I am giving you an insight on the feeling of being hurt.
When we feel heartbroken and rejected, it fires us to think that we might to be not good enough, for parents we might think we not worthy of their love, For a mother a child might thinks he’s not worthy of her love, same applies to a person in a romantic relationship and we think there something wrong with us or something like that. The feelings we experience are sometimes unbearable and we search for ways to take away the feeling, the ways to heal a broken heart
But let’s break down the flaw in this logic, right. Imagine a hypothetical, that you a parent and you have a young child is their four year olds and you’re sitting with him he plays a game with themselves they game is to match wooden shapes and put them in the correctly shaped holes
Like find a square shape can put it in the square hole or a triangle shape and put it in a triangle whole, like that.
So imagine is playing this game and he picks up a square wooden shape and he puts it in a triangle hole. It can’t fit doesn’t fit in then , can’t do it and then he says to you mommy this square isn’t good enough for this whole what do you think you would say in that. Or what do you think you would probably tell the kid. Just because the wooded square doesn’t fit in that hole doesn’t mean that it’s not good enough. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it so the same is true in our relationships of life just because we don’t match the way of one person’s definition perfect doesn’t mean we’re not perfect. When we realise and understand this its a way to heal a broken heart. Just because we don’t fit in someones hole doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us. It just means we don’t fit their definition of perfect. It doesnt mean theres is anything missing with us or wrong with us that we are not good enough. May be something is wrong with them
Everybody a different different concepts about what is right, what is good, what is wrong, different concepts about what is beautiful and what’s ugly, different concepts about what is caring and what is not caring, what is funny and what is not funny, what is annoying and what is interesting. We all have entirely different concepts about what these things are, different definitions about what is fit into these words.
What we like and what we don’t like so just because we dont match somebody’s definition of perfect it does mean we actually imperfect and there is something wrong with us. If somebody else breaks up with us they might think that we are not attractive enough but doesn’t mean we not attractive enough. Somebody else might think that we are too attractive for them. One person finds you attractive and another one doesn’t. That will however not necessary mean its easy to know who likes you. I have have prescribed spells to help check compatibility on website. Heal a broken heart by choosing a right partner. What one person finds annoying another one finds interesting. What one parent thinks it’s a terrible career choice another parent thinks its an awesome career choice. What one father thinks its a disappointing house another father thinks its an amazing house. What one boss finds unhelpful another boss may value that quality. Everyone has different concepts about what they value. What they are looking for or what they want.
Mend a Broken Heart
So we can not be be not good enough there can not be something wrong with us. So if somebody rejected you and you want to stop feeling hurt just need to ask yourself a few questions. So I will give some now but it’s by no means an exhaustive list. If you want to heal a broken heart ask yourself am I sure that their opinion is true, because somebody else has a different perspective, if somebody else has a different perspective can I be absolutely sure that their opinion is true? Just because I care about their opinion, just because I like them, does that mean their opinion is somehow more valid than other people’s opinion? Could somebody else think I am wonderful and want to be with me? If so then there is really something wrong with me. If I think there is something wrong with me or they do where is that something wrong with me, where is that. Can I touch something wrong with me? Can i hold on to it, can I see it, can I grab it. Read more articles about love problems and solutions here